I spent my spring at a semester school and part of my summer at GLI, so I knew that coming back to my school - the school I've attended since 5th grade - wouldn't be easy. I anticipated a rocky transition but I expected that, after a while, I'd ultimately have a fun and tradition-filled senior year.

I’ve been in school for nearly a month now, though, and it’s hardly gotten any easier. True, there is lots to enjoy. I am appreciating the usual cockiness and confidence that goes along with being a senior in high school. I know my way around the school, teachers know me, and I have a set group of friends.

And, despite all of this, I don’t look forward to going to school. I feel stressed and overwhelmed most of the time, and my weekends are not as relaxing as they used to be. It seems that many other seniors are feeling the same way, so complaining to my friends doesn’t win me any pity or condolences. Complaining about how much I miss my semester school doesn’t get me anywhere with my friends, either.

I’ve been trying to evaluate why I feel so upset about school. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1. I’m tired of the whole social hierarchy that is high school. During my semester away, everyone was generally inclusive, everyone was “real.” I felt like I could talk to anyone about anything. Granted, that is definitely an idealized situation and normal high school experiences are just not like that. There are always going to be cliques and kids who are left out. I hate being type-cast, I dislike social competition. I know it’s my responsibility to be more outgoing. It’s just that, sometimes, I feels like it’s not worth the effort.
2. I feel as though I’ve forgotten about all of the confidence building I learned at GLI. I hate how easy it is to fall back into the same patterns. I need to continue to stand up for myself and be confident. I need to re-visit the GLI handbook I received.
3. Homework. SAT’s. College. Enough said. It’s the classic senior conundrum, but I still haven’t figured out how to balance everything. I don’t have time to get everything done, so I feel overwhelmed and anxious.
4. I have had trouble re-connecting with my friends since returning from a semester away. This situation is getting better, but I’m worried things won’t go back to the way they were.

Now what? I can’t spend the rest of the school year being unhappy and waiting for things to improve on their own.  So what can I do? It turns out there are plenty of things that make me happy. Watching "Glee" cheers me up during the school week.  I’m doing yoga once a week. I’m trying to spend more time outdoors. Talking to friends from my semester program helps.

Still, I spend a lot of my time at school, so I'm trying to improve the situation there. I give myself challenges to talk to different people, even if that just means saying hi. I am working on keeping up my confidence and not over-analyzing everything. I wish my whole school had to play the GLI theatre games every morning before first period; I know playing them would make me ready to speak up and put myself out there.

Like any bubble, camps and semesters away can't last forever. Eventually we have to return to earth. The challenge is to keep some sense of that bubble around you when you do, to keep create your own feelings of safety and joy. I’m not sure how the rest of the semester is going to turn out, but I’m going to try and maintain a positive outlook. You only get to be a high school senior once, and I want to enjoy as much of the experience as I can. I might still have a hard time looking forward to going to school, but the only way I will get through this year is by doing things that make me happy on the weekends, reaching out and trusting others, and harnessing the courage in myself that my semester away and GLI instilled in me.